


Alone

by SilverOpals394



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverOpals394/pseuds/SilverOpals394
Summary: Everything was just so messed up. Cabeswater was unprotected, and it was getting worse. Everything was getting worse. And yet, all he wanted was to hold Adam Parrish close to him.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 10
Kudos: 65





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This fic exists because I listened to _Alone_ by Heart and because I literally cannot get my brain to think of anything besides Pynch.

It was late, and it was quiet. Adam could hear his alarm clock ticking away the seconds next to his bed. Normally, he’d have no trouble falling asleep. He was always exhausted from school, from work, from Cabeswater. From Ronan.

_Ronan._

Things had been changing between them lately. It was impossible not to notice. Impossible not to think about the way Ronan’s eyes always found him. Always landed on him like they were a compass and he was north. True north.

It was a lot.

_See, Adam Parrish is wantable._

He’d tried to dismiss it as vanity, but every day the evidence was piling up. But how did he feel about it? He wasn’t sure. Not _really_ sure. Not sure _enough._

_Don’t play, this is not a game._

But tonight, lying in his empty apartment, he let himself want. And what he wanted was not to be so alone. So _lonesome._

Ronan was _lonesome_ too, he could tell.

Sometimes it was strange to think about how that miracle of a boy was just as lonely as he was. But other times it wasn’t strange at all. They were so different, and yet so similar.

Most nights, he’d be here by now. Adam would watch silently from the bed as they both pretended to sleep. Ronan would wait until Adam closed his eyes and then take his turn watching and pretending. They both knew it. They just never said anything about it. That seemed to be a lot of what they did these days.

So maybe Adam had gotten used to Ronan’s presence. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t sleep. He’d never relied on anyone but himself, and now here he was wasting away precious hours all because Ronan Lynch wasn’t here to lay quietly next to him on the floor while neither of them said anything.

He sighed and turned over. It was going to be a long night.

*****

It was late, and Ronan could feel the rush of the wind around him as he sped down the dark country roads. He wasn't racing, just driving. He’d almost gone to St. Agnes, bursting with this truth inside of him that was growing bigger every day. Almost.

Everything was just so messed up. Cabeswater was unprotected, and it was getting worse. Everything was getting worse. And yet, all he wanted was to hold Adam Parrish close to him. To feel his lips on his own. To feel his hands, those beautiful hands, on him. In any way he could.

He had wanted these things for so long, and his desires had never weakened, only grown stronger over time. The more he knew about Adam Parrish the more he loved him. He didn’t think he’d ever know enough.

He gave in most nights. He would lay on the floor and watch Adam sleep, or pretend to sleep. He knew that Adam knew. He knew that Adam did the same thing. He knew they would never speak of it. But somehow it made everything feel less lonely. Most nights that was enough.

But tonight he'd had the thought that it might not be enough anymore, and that scared him. So he'd fled. 

Now, though, he felt the pull of Adam. He didn't care if it was enough. He aimed the BMW towards St. Agnes.

*****

Adam was still awake when he heard soft knocking at his door. That was unusual. Ronan didn't do _anything_ softly. But... that wasn't really true, was it? Not anymore. 

He let him in without a word. Both boys seemed to exhale at the same time. 

“Parrish,” Ronan said finally. 

“Lynch,” Adam answered. 

And that was that. Ronan laid down on the floor and closed his eyes, balling his jacket up underneath his head. Adam watched as he climbed into bed. He would have felt bad except for the fact that he only had one pillow and one blanket and if Ronan wanted either of those things he could have brought them himself. This was far from new.

And yet. Adam allowed himself to imagine _sharing_ his meager bedding with Ronan. Just for a moment. Just one. 

Then he closed his eyes.

*****

Ronan waited for Adam's breathing to even out before he let himself look. 

He looked, and he looked, and he _looked._ And he longed. 

But it was enough, just for tonight. Just for now. 

And slowly he felt the kind of peace he only ever felt around Adam overtake him and he drifted off.

It was late, and two boys slept, feeling a little less alone. 


End file.
